can't medicate, so hibernate. try not to hate, but learn too late

I have met a large road block in my recent progress, and it may be enough to make me give up. My anti-sleepy medication has been denied by my insurance. It is not medically necessary.

I am aggravated by this, but this is exacerbated by the fact that they decided not to tell me. I got a package from them today--which according to their "shipping status" automated phone thing-y, was supposed to be my medicine (seriously, it STATED my medication as "shipped"). Instead, it was a letter telling me I was not going to get my medicine. This was after a "courtesy call" telling me that there was a delay in filling my order, but that it was going to ship the next day (meaning, they called me Thursday to let me know that they were sorry they took 11 days to answer my queries, but in case i had not figured it out, they were behind schedule and order was on its way now) Wouldn't you think all of this meant I was getting my medicine and not a letter of declination????

So, pour lemon juice in my wound----not only were they really, really, really late in processing my order, they didn't actually process anything except how to tell me they were not going to process my order.

Now add salt to the wound that already has lemon juice in it: I had to drive an hour and a half for this letter--45 mins out, 45 mins back. UPS would not leave my medication on my doorstep because it might get stolen--they offered to deliver it whenever I wanted them to as long as it was after 9 and before 4 on any weekday. Since I work, I cannot do this--so I told them to hold it at their office. Which is in Chester. I popped my very last sample pill and drove there after work today--only not grumbling about the ridiculous drive because I am anticipating the sweet, sweet feeling of being properly medicated again. If you have talked to me in the past week, you 1) were lucky enough to catch me when i was awake and 2) unlucky enough to catch me when I was awake. I figured out after about day 4 of waiting that my prescription was delayed, so I halved my dose so my samples would last and have been making do---I was incredibly groggy, and at times bitchy, due to this- sorry if you got an earful of sapna-complaints.....anyway----45 minutes to chester to get a letter that said I was not getting medication.....

45 minutes back talking to a customer care person on the phone who was VERY good.

but things are not good. I have further steps I can take and I intend to take all of them, but for right now, I feel defeated. really, really defeated. what is the point of sapna? Apparently, staying awake is not medically necessary.

I do not want to wallow in self-pity. I really don't---but it seems that the moment I find a reason to live, I have no ability to stay awake. again, what is the point of sapna?