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dear god--so much is happening and nothing is happening at all.

life is a mess of computer issues, boys, dogs, friends, costumes, and family.

computer issues--i have bought a new computer. i am determined to become computer savvy. My brain is working better than it has in a while. I might be able to do this. I do not need to understand much...i just how to do what i need to do on my computer. first lessons, pictures and music. I can download both pics and music, but I have no idea how to trouble shoot. and this i will learn.

boys- i feel like my dry spell is over, but only shallowly. I am meeting lots of boys--but none with real potential. which is sad b/c i like boys. but it is good to feel like a catch again, even if i do not feel like a long-term catch.

dogs---been spending a lot of time with bear, which is great b/c i love bear. and so does oskar. oskar gets to happy when bear is over. i love our dynamic trio. except at 7 am when everyone other than me wants to go on a walk.

friends---i love my friends!!! I always feel like i have no good friends in richmond b/c jenny, meredith, joe, sarah, christine, and mini all live far away. But i love hanging out with melissa and alana and I have been getting really close to both of them over the past year or so. I just rediscovered renu and lucy :) And there is always the HS gang: Micah&Shannon, Nate&Tiffany, Kristina, Brooke, Heather&Adam....there are a few people from HS that live in town and i would like to hang out with more---ok, jerry. maybe others....and then there is the strayer crowd (stacey, bryan, matt, kathy, kim, heather, brian, emily, dave) that i have utterly neglected. Hopefully with the baby shower and water stop activities, i can get back into that. I _do_ have love in richmond--it is just hard to have such a spread out core of friends also. Wouldn't it be great (in a way) to go back to dorm living???

costumes---i was wonder woman for halloween. 'nough said.

family-- i have been spending waaaay too much of my leave of absence with my family. but strangely, it has been really good. I am putting my foot down with my sister, actually becoming friends with my mom and helping out my dad. it is been really good. we do not have a great family dynamic, and the past month has not _really_ been that different, i just seem to be able to appreciate what we do have a bit more. That, and my parents keep taking me shopping--so no complaints from me.

ok, now moving on---i need to clean my house and have a party. any theme suggestions? maybe a super hero theme so i can wear my WW costume again.....

I also need to start running. I hate it, but it is time to tell this diabetes who is boss. And i will feel so good about myself if i am a runner. and maybe the gut will pack its tires and leave.

and lastly, i need a hobby. something really cool. maybe i will set up a darkroom in my bathroom. or start painting again. i always say this. maybe i should just go back to work....i feel my mental health is FINALLY back. but i will take this last week of leave to be mentally healthy and love life.