stick with it

I have decided not to go to grad school. At least, not yet. I want to decide my career path BEFORE I pay a lot of money to get more educated.

So for now, I will bloom where planted...and dream of greener pastures. My main problem right now is that I am messing with my meds. I have enough medication in me to pickle my insides....but the old stuff I was taking was making me really fat and really sleepy. So now I am slimming down and staying awake---but the panic and depression are rearing their ugly heads. But it will all level out eventually. I just hope it levels out before i go nuts....

I just started doubling my dose (at the doc's suggestion) thursday--to combat the PMDD. And really, i thought PMDD was a farce--but the week before my period, i turn into a crazy monster unless I am properly medicated. Last week was rough. Hopefully it was hormonal. Hopefully the doubled dose will help that.

My principal is a great man. I talked to him about how my brain is not a good place due to the medication tinkering and how my body never feels good b/c of the new med side-effects....and he is going to try to help me out. I am really glad I have a great principal. I will feel like crap if i have to let him down. But I really know I am not on the right career path. Let us see if i can make it to june.