The past 2 nights, I havenot slept super well b/c I have been stressed out about what color to paint my 3 bathrooms---yes, totally lame, I know...
so anyway-- i was talking to meredith today (she had to make a long wok while at work and called me to tok) and she was saying i should spend the last few days of my summer vacation boring myself so that I will be happy to go back to work. I was trying to plan on really getting a lot of house stuff done and then being happy for the change of pace. however, given that I can't decide on colors-- i have changed my plan.
I _know_ i want my kitchen to be a pale lemon yellow. I also know that I can't paint my kitchen by myself without buying a different ladder and possibly losing my sanity. So i am thinking-- hire Jeff to do that (he did a great job on my porch). This will have to be after sappa pachi sleep away camp for canine's is over. so that puts us into after school starts---which is fine by me. I also know what shade I want the dining room. I will paint that on my own with expert advice from alana. After that, I am hoping the rest of the color decisions come more naturally. like these 2 did. I can also do touch ups on the hall color myself. I kinda regret tha hall color-- i love it, but it is very dominating. maybe i should have gone for something more subtle. I cannot pain that myself either without purchasing ladders and sanity--so if it doesn't work with the dining room, i will pay Jeff to pain that also. so all color deciding stress is off-- i could pain the dining room now, and maybe i will--but the 3 bathrooms are off the to do list. i feel like I have accomplished so much-- but really, i have just scratched things off the list. I also had to scratch off make flower beds b/c i need 8 foot long boards, and i cannot fit that into my car. I am going to have to wait until i make a friend with a truck.
so all that is really on my to do list of chores for the summer is steam clean my carpets. And this will be good b/c once it is done, i can return this beast to akka and mark and my house will instantly have more room.
today has fully been given over to laziness. I am going to salvage a tiny part of the day by taking the dogs out back and grooming them. I was super productive yesterday. it all balances out.
8.05.2010
8.03.2010
tipping the scale
I am 160 lbs. There, I have said it. I have been embarrassed of my weight ever since I got to 140 lbs. Which is crazy, i know---b/c that is how much I am supposed to weigh. I had always prided myself on being underweight while being able to eat whatever I wanted.
That all kinda stopped around age 22. So it has been 10 years. I hate that I am so weight concerned. I am by no means obese and I do not feel unhealthy no matter what any doctor says. Diabetes Shmiabetes, i say. However, they do say losing about 20 lbs will cure me. yes, cure me--- i will no longer be diabetic. I would like to say that that is motivating.
but really, i just want to fit into my pants again. so yesterday I was good. I have tried all the healthy ways of weight loss--now i am going to tried and true calorie counting. I have been good so far today. I am going to keep this up for weeks. If I do not lose at least 5 lbs, i give up.
That all kinda stopped around age 22. So it has been 10 years. I hate that I am so weight concerned. I am by no means obese and I do not feel unhealthy no matter what any doctor says. Diabetes Shmiabetes, i say. However, they do say losing about 20 lbs will cure me. yes, cure me--- i will no longer be diabetic. I would like to say that that is motivating.
but really, i just want to fit into my pants again. so yesterday I was good. I have tried all the healthy ways of weight loss--now i am going to tried and true calorie counting. I have been good so far today. I am going to keep this up for weeks. If I do not lose at least 5 lbs, i give up.
8.02.2010
plants
starting today and extending until august 23rd AT LEAST, i am planting myself in my hometown. I have been on the go all summer and now i am on the stop. during these 22 days of being here, i hope to get back into shape, get ready for school to start back up, finish all my home projects, get a lot of coffee with alana, and watch a ton of movies with heather and invite everyone to my house one night.
i just got back late last night from a sort of family reunion. My mom's 3rd cousin (sounds distant, but they were very close growing up and went to school together and everything) is in the US for the summer---and so she and her husband and her son and his family ( wife and 2 kids) visited my sister in NOVA and my parents and I (and osk, of course) drove up there and we all stayed the weekend. They are all still there, but I had to come home b/c i have a doctor's appt in an hour.
it was a lot of fun. I realize that my family is fun to hang out with--just awful to actually travel with. I just need to drive/ fly/ whatever separately and then we will be fine. oskar for a lot of attention and he looks a bit tubbier.
i also look a bit tubbier, but we do not need to talk about that other than to say that markybear is a fantastic cook.
my nephews (nate and zach) and vying for the amelia bedelia award for literalism. They are so cute. One night, zach tried to hug a sleeping oskar and just kind of plopped on him and startled him and oskar ran away. Zach was heart-broken and I told him it was okay, that oskar still loved him, he just had to call him. So Zach started looking around and i said "Zachi, just call oskar. What are you looking for?" and he answered in his cute 2 year-old voice "Phone." And nate and I have a secret club (it is easy to have a club with a 3 year-old and tons of fun. We share a room when i visit and our club meetings consist of traditional bedtime routine activities) He hates going to bed, but somehow loves club meetings. I wonder how long we can keep this ruse up. Anyway. I told him that it was his job to come up with the club's secret handshake. which he did instantly--he said "Ok, here" and he shook his hands....like he was drying them. how cute. we tried to explain what a handshake was--but he liked his version better. both kids are very amelia bedelia-ish.
ok, it is time to wok the dog them go to the doctor.
i just got back late last night from a sort of family reunion. My mom's 3rd cousin (sounds distant, but they were very close growing up and went to school together and everything) is in the US for the summer---and so she and her husband and her son and his family ( wife and 2 kids) visited my sister in NOVA and my parents and I (and osk, of course) drove up there and we all stayed the weekend. They are all still there, but I had to come home b/c i have a doctor's appt in an hour.
it was a lot of fun. I realize that my family is fun to hang out with--just awful to actually travel with. I just need to drive/ fly/ whatever separately and then we will be fine. oskar for a lot of attention and he looks a bit tubbier.
i also look a bit tubbier, but we do not need to talk about that other than to say that markybear is a fantastic cook.
my nephews (nate and zach) and vying for the amelia bedelia award for literalism. They are so cute. One night, zach tried to hug a sleeping oskar and just kind of plopped on him and startled him and oskar ran away. Zach was heart-broken and I told him it was okay, that oskar still loved him, he just had to call him. So Zach started looking around and i said "Zachi, just call oskar. What are you looking for?" and he answered in his cute 2 year-old voice "Phone." And nate and I have a secret club (it is easy to have a club with a 3 year-old and tons of fun. We share a room when i visit and our club meetings consist of traditional bedtime routine activities) He hates going to bed, but somehow loves club meetings. I wonder how long we can keep this ruse up. Anyway. I told him that it was his job to come up with the club's secret handshake. which he did instantly--he said "Ok, here" and he shook his hands....like he was drying them. how cute. we tried to explain what a handshake was--but he liked his version better. both kids are very amelia bedelia-ish.
ok, it is time to wok the dog them go to the doctor.
7.22.2010
picasa
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_GHap385cSQb76gdrAzgeNJUNIohdgdBrjua3c9WMedh2rufrKYO9j-akqjnTwLqCXI1gntumZD9hRfggb27ZVPrCdC1R0D7XWDuTzcexW8p73WYz4kUS6WDD06sMtFJkmiwjC_EZw-Fd/s288/DSC00682.JPG
I am trying to embed a photo-- i think this is going to be a link though.
ok-- let us see if i can go this a different way.
ok-- it worked, but now it is at the top and not in the middle of the post. can i put it in the middle of the post? do pictures suck up my storage space. it says i am using 55%. is that bad?
didn't i used to know how to do this?
alright (still have no idea if alright is a proper word) i made it smaller. hrm. i am going to have to become a better blogger.
I am trying to embed a photo-- i think this is going to be a link though.ok-- let us see if i can go this a different way.
ok-- it worked, but now it is at the top and not in the middle of the post. can i put it in the middle of the post? do pictures suck up my storage space. it says i am using 55%. is that bad?
didn't i used to know how to do this?
alright (still have no idea if alright is a proper word) i made it smaller. hrm. i am going to have to become a better blogger.
7.21.2010
after all these years...
I am finally marrying meredith! My mom has been suspicious of our love all along.
Well, ok--meredith is tying the not with dean, but I just got ordained via the internets and I will be performing their ceremony. I am really excited.
I want to do the whole princess bride speech (and apparently, if you do not say i do-- it is not binding)
the whole ordination process seems a bit too easy. I wonder what the catch is. Oh well-- we will see.
Meredith wants me to wear a maroon sari-- i am going to see what I can do to pull it off, but chances are that if I wrap my own sari, the pictures are not going to be pretty.
I know this is vain, but i totally need to get rid of my fat face by wedding time. I do not want to look like a blob in these photos-- and i know i am not a blob-- but i do have the fat face blues. Are there crunches made for facial muscles???
Well, ok--meredith is tying the not with dean, but I just got ordained via the internets and I will be performing their ceremony. I am really excited.
I want to do the whole princess bride speech (and apparently, if you do not say i do-- it is not binding)
the whole ordination process seems a bit too easy. I wonder what the catch is. Oh well-- we will see.
Meredith wants me to wear a maroon sari-- i am going to see what I can do to pull it off, but chances are that if I wrap my own sari, the pictures are not going to be pretty.
I know this is vain, but i totally need to get rid of my fat face by wedding time. I do not want to look like a blob in these photos-- and i know i am not a blob-- but i do have the fat face blues. Are there crunches made for facial muscles???
7.12.2010
family fun
the shenoys and ronlovs are in disney world! we are having a ton of fun. we are exhausted. the kids are doing well. I miss my dog.
6.29.2010
the warm springs
it is so wonderful here. I am sitting in a room that feels like a tree house--- all of the windows are open and it is sunny and shady and breezy. My best friend and here baby are across the table from me working on a puzzle and my best dog is at my feet thoroughly content. Our innkeeper made us a french toast casserole for breakfast. It was here last night and we just had to bake it when we wanted it. I went on a 20 minute (very hilly so i didn't get far) jog right before breakfast. Then I cooled down, ate breakfast and studied some mythology via wikipedia while sipping some coffee....I had to have the myth lesson b/c reading _The Lightning Thief_ raised some questions. I then took oskar for a wok and groomed him (with my hands) on the footbridge of the creek on our property. The b&b is full of helpful notes-- and not grooming your dog in the house, but rather near the creek was one of them. it was a good suggestion. The wind carried the doghair away and there was no cleanup--well, except for on me b/c i stupidly situated myself downwind of the dog....i noticed this early on, but osk was a bit scared of the bridge and was not going to switch positions easily. this place is fabulous. the kitchen smells like a fireplace and the sitting room is so breezy and my bed is comfortable. i am so content that I can't even manage paragraphs....jenny brought some great raspberry merlot that we had last night after a great dinner at the gristmill. We are now headed to the springs after I hose off. Then I plan on attacking the hammock and _As I lay Dying_
bliss.....
bliss.....
6.14.2010
trying
ok-- i am going to do the cereal diet thing to jump start my weight loss. A bowl of cereal for bfast, another for lunch---and then a sensible dinner. My only problem is that after starving myself all day---how can I be sensible? I see issues coming next saturday when I go to Mas with Melissa and Hattie. I think i can be sensible food-wise b/c Mas isn't uber vegetarian. However, the sangria is sooooo good and it will be my last day of school (yes, we do have to go in on saturday for a full day)
I took a week off of running--which was not a good idea b/c I am kinda dreading running tonight. But it must be done. I just found some photos of my 2006 graduation party and I remember thinking I was fat when I got them back....and now I totally wish I could be that "fat". I also do not think i need to go on a shopping spree at all when I lose weight (if i lose weight). I found all these clothes while going on my bi-annual closet purge that will totally fit me if i lose about 10 lbs. So that is now the goal. My mother will be pleased-- i think she was regretting offering to take me on a 1K$ shopping spree if i ever got down to 138 lbs and kept it off for 3 months. It was awfully nice of her, but I would never take her up on it. #1--it is not going to happen and #2---that is way too many clothes. Man, I really need to get this weight off. This time for real.
20 lbs. Target date: August 23rd. 10 weeks. 2 lbs a week. totally doable. here I go.
I took a week off of running--which was not a good idea b/c I am kinda dreading running tonight. But it must be done. I just found some photos of my 2006 graduation party and I remember thinking I was fat when I got them back....and now I totally wish I could be that "fat". I also do not think i need to go on a shopping spree at all when I lose weight (if i lose weight). I found all these clothes while going on my bi-annual closet purge that will totally fit me if i lose about 10 lbs. So that is now the goal. My mother will be pleased-- i think she was regretting offering to take me on a 1K$ shopping spree if i ever got down to 138 lbs and kept it off for 3 months. It was awfully nice of her, but I would never take her up on it. #1--it is not going to happen and #2---that is way too many clothes. Man, I really need to get this weight off. This time for real.
20 lbs. Target date: August 23rd. 10 weeks. 2 lbs a week. totally doable. here I go.
6.10.2010
oh I just can't wait to be king
I am sitting in Jen Boyles' room watching _The Lion King_ and it is soooo good. I have not seen this in ages. It is such a fun movie. And her class is so loving. How have I bonded better with these kids than I have with mine all year. i guess it is time that i realize that working with the "bad" kids = very little love.
I am done trying to make to-do lists for the summer. i am getting stressed about my vacation plans---and that is not very vacation-y.
I just went to a suicide prevention presentation with the 8th graders. It was a good thing---I wish it was somehow more powerful, though.
ok--i need to sing along now. La la la!
I am done trying to make to-do lists for the summer. i am getting stressed about my vacation plans---and that is not very vacation-y.
I just went to a suicide prevention presentation with the 8th graders. It was a good thing---I wish it was somehow more powerful, though.
ok--i need to sing along now. La la la!
6.02.2010
chocolate
I am watching _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_ for the 3rd and (hopefully) last time this year. I really wish I was testing children so that these testing blocks would be less tedious. We have been going to the auditorium and watching this movie. However, today (because they forgot about us) we are in the library. Due to my double blocking, I see the same 8 seventh graders for 12 hours during this day work week. I am glad that I like this movie.
Yesterday, I went for my interview for department chair. I really want that job. Actually, I really want to split that job with Heather. When I signed up, I wasn't sure if I was that keen on working that hard--now I know that it will give me the connection to this school that I need to feel like I am really making a difference. I know I would be good at the job---though I think I bunged my interview--the questions were so generic that I could not give very creative answers. It is hard to interview seriously and effectively with an administrator I feel so comfortable with.
I keep putting off my household chores until June 18th....the last day of school. My house is a wreck and my running schedule is very weak. I think I am going to make lists while watching this movie.
Ok, time for list making.
Yesterday, I went for my interview for department chair. I really want that job. Actually, I really want to split that job with Heather. When I signed up, I wasn't sure if I was that keen on working that hard--now I know that it will give me the connection to this school that I need to feel like I am really making a difference. I know I would be good at the job---though I think I bunged my interview--the questions were so generic that I could not give very creative answers. It is hard to interview seriously and effectively with an administrator I feel so comfortable with.
I keep putting off my household chores until June 18th....the last day of school. My house is a wreck and my running schedule is very weak. I think I am going to make lists while watching this movie.
Ok, time for list making.
5.24.2010
sweepy
I am so entirely exhausted that I cannot think. I have not been able to sleep well at night. I am taking amazing naps, but my night sleep is light and fitful. I try not napping and I am still unable to sleep at night....then I _have_ to nap the next day because I am so tired. Today, I cannot make it another moment without a nap. But I will have to. I have to stay awake for 2 more hours.
I am anxious to start packing up my classroom and with it, pack up this terrible year and keep it in my bit bucket. I do not want to erase this year--i have learned much and have grown from it. however, i am ready to have it stop glaring me in the face and kicking me in the butt.
I have pinned my hopes on the new curriculum for next year. I am glad that it is not fleshed out yet b/c then I have an excuse for not tending to it this summer. It will make for a stressful beginning of the year---but that is nothing new. I will not have the guilt of not lesson planning during the summer if I do not know what I will be teaching. I think after 5 years I finally understand what "they" mean when "they" say you HAVE to get your rules and procedures down the first month of school. I am ready to focus on behavior and get that right to avoid the issues I am having now---issues of students walking all over me and not doing a thing they are told. I always say this is what I am going to do next year-- i hope i mean it this time.
everything is getting fuzzy. I might need to nap here on my desk.
I am anxious to start packing up my classroom and with it, pack up this terrible year and keep it in my bit bucket. I do not want to erase this year--i have learned much and have grown from it. however, i am ready to have it stop glaring me in the face and kicking me in the butt.
I have pinned my hopes on the new curriculum for next year. I am glad that it is not fleshed out yet b/c then I have an excuse for not tending to it this summer. It will make for a stressful beginning of the year---but that is nothing new. I will not have the guilt of not lesson planning during the summer if I do not know what I will be teaching. I think after 5 years I finally understand what "they" mean when "they" say you HAVE to get your rules and procedures down the first month of school. I am ready to focus on behavior and get that right to avoid the issues I am having now---issues of students walking all over me and not doing a thing they are told. I always say this is what I am going to do next year-- i hope i mean it this time.
everything is getting fuzzy. I might need to nap here on my desk.
5.12.2010
regression
I cannot seem to run anymore....I went for a great run on saturday---personal best of 18 mins without stopping. This might not sound like a lot to you, but I could not even run one minute without stopping a couple fo months ago. But I tried to run yesterday and i made it a block--i was feeling blah and my knee kinda ached and i just quit....thinking that i would have more energy today after getting some rest. Well, I did have more energy today, but at minute 8 I was gasping for air so i walked for 10 seconds---and at minute 10 i was gasping again, so i walked for 30 seconds---then at minute 12, i just pooped out---i just lost the mood entirely.....
how do i trick my mood into letting me keep going??? This "not being into it" was never an issue before once i got past 1 minute....I could run until my time goal. However, the past 2 runs---i obviously did not do that. granted, today i have a bit of a breathing problem....but at minute 12, i was not gasping, i was just quitting....i am going to see how i do tomorrow and then make an action plan if things have not improve.
i have really, really, really been craving brownies and summer vacation recently.
We had a staff meeting today and our principal told us to stop asking about next year and to focus on this year---it is really hard. I mean, we found out our department is going to have a whole new leadership team, a whole new curriculum, a new focus and new standards.....it is hard to create winning SOL review lessons that I will never use again. 5 weeks and 2 days of school left--- it is doable.
i am thinking of pampering myself this saturday---though i do not really have the money nor do i really deserve it-- i mean, i have not been busting my tail on work, house, or health like i should have been doing. but i work this saturday morning and have a haircut appt at 3:30---i was thinking of going to the mall for a cheap pedicure and lunch in between. though what i should be doing is taking care of this wreck of a house and running and making SOL study guides and preparing healthy meals for the week. and not spending money....let us see which shoulder wins.
ok, i need to take care of this brownie craving...it is killing me. while i am at it, i might pretend it is summer vacation.
how do i trick my mood into letting me keep going??? This "not being into it" was never an issue before once i got past 1 minute....I could run until my time goal. However, the past 2 runs---i obviously did not do that. granted, today i have a bit of a breathing problem....but at minute 12, i was not gasping, i was just quitting....i am going to see how i do tomorrow and then make an action plan if things have not improve.
i have really, really, really been craving brownies and summer vacation recently.
We had a staff meeting today and our principal told us to stop asking about next year and to focus on this year---it is really hard. I mean, we found out our department is going to have a whole new leadership team, a whole new curriculum, a new focus and new standards.....it is hard to create winning SOL review lessons that I will never use again. 5 weeks and 2 days of school left--- it is doable.
i am thinking of pampering myself this saturday---though i do not really have the money nor do i really deserve it-- i mean, i have not been busting my tail on work, house, or health like i should have been doing. but i work this saturday morning and have a haircut appt at 3:30---i was thinking of going to the mall for a cheap pedicure and lunch in between. though what i should be doing is taking care of this wreck of a house and running and making SOL study guides and preparing healthy meals for the week. and not spending money....let us see which shoulder wins.
ok, i need to take care of this brownie craving...it is killing me. while i am at it, i might pretend it is summer vacation.
5.06.2010
sapdate
well-- i wrote a huge weekend sapdate on monday and i got kicked off and only the first paragraph had saved...but the purpose of my writing is to organize my thoughts, so it was not all for naught.
but here i go again with my ramblings:
I have noticed that my thighs are getting bigger. That is the only visible result of my running attempts. It kinda sucks. I mean, my jeans are getting snugger, noty looser. oh well. Today i will attmept to run 17 minutes---though i am really in a bad, worn-out sort of mood....so i might just take it easy and run tomorrow.
My weekend is stressing me out. I mean, all of the things I have to do are fun--but i am just really craving some down time. It does not seem like i will get any. I am about to tromp over to the library with my stack of planning and grading so that when the bell rings tomorrow, I will not have to think about school until 8 am on monday. We have 30 days of school left and I am beat.
I have been having visions of dating again--- i mean, i have never sworn off dating, but i have been very passive about it for the last few months. But if you want something done right (or to happen at all really) you have to do it yourself. I have been attracted to several people recently, but nothing has panned out. ooh well.
ok, the library is calling my name. LITERALLY!!!!! AAAHHH!!!
but here i go again with my ramblings:
I have noticed that my thighs are getting bigger. That is the only visible result of my running attempts. It kinda sucks. I mean, my jeans are getting snugger, noty looser. oh well. Today i will attmept to run 17 minutes---though i am really in a bad, worn-out sort of mood....so i might just take it easy and run tomorrow.
My weekend is stressing me out. I mean, all of the things I have to do are fun--but i am just really craving some down time. It does not seem like i will get any. I am about to tromp over to the library with my stack of planning and grading so that when the bell rings tomorrow, I will not have to think about school until 8 am on monday. We have 30 days of school left and I am beat.
I have been having visions of dating again--- i mean, i have never sworn off dating, but i have been very passive about it for the last few months. But if you want something done right (or to happen at all really) you have to do it yourself. I have been attracted to several people recently, but nothing has panned out. ooh well.
ok, the library is calling my name. LITERALLY!!!!! AAAHHH!!!
4.20.2010
brian's friend
The other day, my friend Kavita's FB status message was "Kavita's brain is fried." I read it as "Kavita's brian's friend," thus proving i was not doing much better than Kavita.
I have so very much to do today and I am having a hard time focusing on my tasks b/c none of them are pleasant tasks. so again---another blog as distraction.
I am all the way through W5D1 of couch to 5K training. I am pretty darn proud of myself. I am also back to being a reader--i might be going slowly, but I am reading every night. I feel like i had a dry spell reading-wise. Maybe one of these days i will get back on the wagon of cooking, gardening, painting and writing. These are the 6 realms I want to excel in in my life. Work keeps getting in the way of my ambitions.
I am pretty sure oskar is getting bored these days. I need to look into doggie brain exercises. It seems like body exercise is just not enough for him anymore. Hiding treats? Teaching him new tricks?
I have "volunteered" to tutor a child during my planning period. I feel a tiny bit coerced (why does this kid not go to after school tutoring?) but at least it will keep me sharp. My ideal job would be working one on one with children, getting them to read. I would like to tutor like 5 kids for 25 mins each daily and then have a group session where we did novel studies....I would then repeat with a different group. I know this is schedule-ly impossible....but it is my dream job. Maybe I can start a summer reading camp that does this. 25 mins one-on-one reading time.....then they go off and do something fun (while i do individual sessions with the other campers)and then 45 mins novel study. Really---this is a great idea. Now who will fund me???
I have to stay after and help with recycling today. Then I might get coffee with jenny. Then I am going to go see my parents. i need to sit at a coffee shop and work on work. It is my desire and I believe i left my motivation at ellwood's.
I have so very much to do today and I am having a hard time focusing on my tasks b/c none of them are pleasant tasks. so again---another blog as distraction.
I am all the way through W5D1 of couch to 5K training. I am pretty darn proud of myself. I am also back to being a reader--i might be going slowly, but I am reading every night. I feel like i had a dry spell reading-wise. Maybe one of these days i will get back on the wagon of cooking, gardening, painting and writing. These are the 6 realms I want to excel in in my life. Work keeps getting in the way of my ambitions.
I am pretty sure oskar is getting bored these days. I need to look into doggie brain exercises. It seems like body exercise is just not enough for him anymore. Hiding treats? Teaching him new tricks?
I have "volunteered" to tutor a child during my planning period. I feel a tiny bit coerced (why does this kid not go to after school tutoring?) but at least it will keep me sharp. My ideal job would be working one on one with children, getting them to read. I would like to tutor like 5 kids for 25 mins each daily and then have a group session where we did novel studies....I would then repeat with a different group. I know this is schedule-ly impossible....but it is my dream job. Maybe I can start a summer reading camp that does this. 25 mins one-on-one reading time.....then they go off and do something fun (while i do individual sessions with the other campers)and then 45 mins novel study. Really---this is a great idea. Now who will fund me???
I have to stay after and help with recycling today. Then I might get coffee with jenny. Then I am going to go see my parents. i need to sit at a coffee shop and work on work. It is my desire and I believe i left my motivation at ellwood's.
4.19.2010
nervous twitch
I have no idea what is wrong with me. I get really nervous when I have morning planning--so every maroon day. I just can't work ahead on stuff. I have to do my actual planning work on silver days. On maroon days, I organize papers and do other chores. No thinking--too nervous. And for no reason.
4.16.2010
top 12
I was asked to make a top 10 list of YA books written from 1999-2009. I had to add 2 extras for this list, since I was not limited. They are ranked with the 1st being my most favorite. This was a really hard list to come up with and I put a lot of thought into this. The amount of joy just creating this list caused me if just indescribable. I have always known YA was my passion---but man, am i passionate!
1. Speak / Laurie Halse Anderson
2. Each Little Bird That Sings/ Deborah Wiles
3. The Uglies / Scott Westerfeld
4. Fever 1793/ Laurie Halse Anderson
5. Our Only May Amelia/ Jennifer L. Holm
6. Princess Academy /Shannon Hale
7. Granny Torellli Makes Soup/ Sharon Creech
8. The Ersatz Elevator /Lemony Snicket
9. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire/ J.K. Rowling
10. The Mysterious Benedict Society /Trenton Lee Stewart
11. Esperanza Rising/ Naomi Leon
12. The Wanderer /Sharon Creech
13. Peak/ Roland Smith (in all fairness. I am only halfway through this book, but it is shaping up to be a favorite.)
(oops, my underlinings did not show up---but remember--you always underline book titles)
(can you imagine if i was not given the timeframe? top 10 YA from all time? man oh man. I just might have to make that list.)
1. Speak / Laurie Halse Anderson
2. Each Little Bird That Sings/ Deborah Wiles
3. The Uglies / Scott Westerfeld
4. Fever 1793/ Laurie Halse Anderson
5. Our Only May Amelia/ Jennifer L. Holm
6. Princess Academy /Shannon Hale
7. Granny Torellli Makes Soup/ Sharon Creech
8. The Ersatz Elevator /Lemony Snicket
9. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire/ J.K. Rowling
10. The Mysterious Benedict Society /Trenton Lee Stewart
11. Esperanza Rising/ Naomi Leon
12. The Wanderer /Sharon Creech
13. Peak/ Roland Smith (in all fairness. I am only halfway through this book, but it is shaping up to be a favorite.)
(oops, my underlinings did not show up---but remember--you always underline book titles)
(can you imagine if i was not given the timeframe? top 10 YA from all time? man oh man. I just might have to make that list.)
4.11.2010
burglar traps
It has finally become clear to me why oskar is digging holes like mad at the bottom of my deck steps. he is my dog-- it is his job to protect me and our house and our belongings. He slacked off on his duties last summer and we got our deck furniture stolen....as an added sadness---this made me less likely to lounge on the deck while he hunted flies and sniffed the air....ergo, he dug some pits to thwart any attempts to steal the nice new deck set i got for $32 at lowe's. way to go oskar!
in other news, oskar survived 4 nights with 3 nephews. His cheerio quota for the month has been met.
ok--i have 12 hours until I have ot be back at work. i need to have some more serious fun.
in other news, oskar survived 4 nights with 3 nephews. His cheerio quota for the month has been met.
ok--i have 12 hours until I have ot be back at work. i need to have some more serious fun.
4.05.2010
spring break has broken! yay!
there is something magical about SB-- i think it is the fact that it is warm, but not scorching and you only have a week. do not get me wrong-- i love summer vacation--but it is a bit oppressive heat-wise and you feel like it will never end so you procrastinate. knowing i am already into day 3 of only 9 days off, i am hustling to get stuff done and feeling quite the sense of accomplishment.
today is day one of yardwork day. i just weeded the garden and moved the bricks. I have also taken oskar on a longer wok than he needed--- i mean, he i totally wiped out now. I should weed whack now--but it is one of my least favorite things--i hate loud noises.
i was planning on painting my bathroom--but I am totally scared that I will mess everything up. I have never painted before. So i altered my day just to include researching how to paint and then purchasing supplies.
i cannot express how happy i feel right now. spring break---even the phrase makes me happy! and 9 weeks left until summer vacation! jeez. life is good!
there is something magical about SB-- i think it is the fact that it is warm, but not scorching and you only have a week. do not get me wrong-- i love summer vacation--but it is a bit oppressive heat-wise and you feel like it will never end so you procrastinate. knowing i am already into day 3 of only 9 days off, i am hustling to get stuff done and feeling quite the sense of accomplishment.
today is day one of yardwork day. i just weeded the garden and moved the bricks. I have also taken oskar on a longer wok than he needed--- i mean, he i totally wiped out now. I should weed whack now--but it is one of my least favorite things--i hate loud noises.
i was planning on painting my bathroom--but I am totally scared that I will mess everything up. I have never painted before. So i altered my day just to include researching how to paint and then purchasing supplies.
i cannot express how happy i feel right now. spring break---even the phrase makes me happy! and 9 weeks left until summer vacation! jeez. life is good!
3.28.2010
double ugh
yesterday, I could not shake the badness of the day. I got a recall notice for my car (which I was told was not going to happen when I tried to be proactive about this) and I got a notice from my insurance telling me in short that I had lied to them about the age of my house and my premium is going to skyrocket now--also, there was so much freakin' traffic in RVA yesterday that I could not effectively run all the errands i needed to--which was okay b/c I left all of my coupons in my car (this was supposed to be smart--but not so smart when i ended up taking my mom's car so she could deal with my recall) Also, oskar dug a huge hole in the backyard and i _really_ was hoping to not have to deal with my backyard at all for a while---but it is covered in dog poop, has a huge hole and the grass is up to my knees. yesterday made me grumpy---oh, i also managed to not sleep well friday night (could not get warm)--which of course made me have a headache all day saturday.
So i went to bed really early (in bed at 7, talked to joe from 8-9:30---asleep by 10) in the hopes that today would redeem yesterday. so far, meh.
I have a lot of projects and i am just not doing them. i started on my bathroom remodeling by sorting out the crap under the sink....then i realized that I have more pressing issues and can deal with putting up the hardware and painting in a week when it is spring break. But since then, i have been a slug. I crushed all the cans i have collected and looked up a few places that might give me money for them (this is a social experiement of sorts--how much money can be made off of church hill's litter alone) I have now made lunch and am regrouping. So here is the new plan to get me out of my unmotivated, grey funk.
1) eat lunch and finish book
2) nap
3) wok oskar and return netflix movie and cancel subscription (or at least reduce it).
4) weed front garden
5) move bricks to side path
6) mow front grass
7) turn over compost and try to fill oskar's hole.
8) mow side grass if up to it
9) shower then go get coffee and work on school stuff
10) use coupon at DSW to buy cheap teva-like sandals
10) make lunch for tomorrow.
ok this is the stuff that must get done today. I might also swing by kroger to buy yogurt.
on to number 1. let us hope this funk dissolves.
So i went to bed really early (in bed at 7, talked to joe from 8-9:30---asleep by 10) in the hopes that today would redeem yesterday. so far, meh.
I have a lot of projects and i am just not doing them. i started on my bathroom remodeling by sorting out the crap under the sink....then i realized that I have more pressing issues and can deal with putting up the hardware and painting in a week when it is spring break. But since then, i have been a slug. I crushed all the cans i have collected and looked up a few places that might give me money for them (this is a social experiement of sorts--how much money can be made off of church hill's litter alone) I have now made lunch and am regrouping. So here is the new plan to get me out of my unmotivated, grey funk.
1) eat lunch and finish book
2) nap
3) wok oskar and return netflix movie and cancel subscription (or at least reduce it).
4) weed front garden
5) move bricks to side path
6) mow front grass
7) turn over compost and try to fill oskar's hole.
8) mow side grass if up to it
9) shower then go get coffee and work on school stuff
10) use coupon at DSW to buy cheap teva-like sandals
10) make lunch for tomorrow.
ok this is the stuff that must get done today. I might also swing by kroger to buy yogurt.
on to number 1. let us hope this funk dissolves.
3.21.2010
it has only been 10 hours
but 32 feels fantastic! I am happier than I have ever been, healthier than ever before, feel totally loved and blessed by all the friends and family in my life and just am in awe of this spring!
and for once, I am not feeling like i am jinxing all of this by saying this. like, i finally feel my luck has stabilized and things are good and will stay that way in a "captain of my fate" sort of way.
thankyouthankyouthankyou.
now it is time to wok my favorite dog. yay!
and for once, I am not feeling like i am jinxing all of this by saying this. like, i finally feel my luck has stabilized and things are good and will stay that way in a "captain of my fate" sort of way.
thankyouthankyouthankyou.
now it is time to wok my favorite dog. yay!
3.19.2010
birthdog
I will be 32 the day after tomorrow--which means I will be 40....someday! (In 8 years just like Sally)
I am excited about my birthweekend plans, even though everything other than tonight's plans are up in the air. I really wish I had a three day weekend this weekend b/c I am just not feelin' it at work today. We did testing on Tuesday and Wednesday and the kids had a half day yesterday....It is all just very weird. But 2 weeks til spring break, right?
The weather has been gorgeous and is supposed to just keep getting better---which is par for the course for my birthday. I love the first day of spring. I am such a pagan baby. It is my new year.
My plans for my actual birthday involve mostly alone time. I wish my sister and nephews would visit, but they were here last weekend. My parents are going to take me out to dinner---but other than that, I am going to do nothing social and just enjoy my solitude. I will be plenty social on friday and saturday. Tonight is haircut (oh, please turn out glamorous!) and dinner with 20 others at little mexico (yum!)
Now to make it through the school day!
I am excited about my birthweekend plans, even though everything other than tonight's plans are up in the air. I really wish I had a three day weekend this weekend b/c I am just not feelin' it at work today. We did testing on Tuesday and Wednesday and the kids had a half day yesterday....It is all just very weird. But 2 weeks til spring break, right?
The weather has been gorgeous and is supposed to just keep getting better---which is par for the course for my birthday. I love the first day of spring. I am such a pagan baby. It is my new year.
My plans for my actual birthday involve mostly alone time. I wish my sister and nephews would visit, but they were here last weekend. My parents are going to take me out to dinner---but other than that, I am going to do nothing social and just enjoy my solitude. I will be plenty social on friday and saturday. Tonight is haircut (oh, please turn out glamorous!) and dinner with 20 others at little mexico (yum!)
Now to make it through the school day!
2.22.2010
wish list
these are the things i want to do as soon as the weather is nicer:
1)winery tour somewhere pretty
2)sit on the rooftop bar at havanand sip mimosas
3) go to a fancy dinner in a fancy dress
4) start c25K training again (first time--the couch won, second time- the snow won, third time--is the charm)
5) spend a day at maymont
6) go on a picnic with a real basket
warm weather--i am ready for you.
1)winery tour somewhere pretty
2)sit on the rooftop bar at havanand sip mimosas
3) go to a fancy dinner in a fancy dress
4) start c25K training again (first time--the couch won, second time- the snow won, third time--is the charm)
5) spend a day at maymont
6) go on a picnic with a real basket
warm weather--i am ready for you.
2.21.2010
why am i talking about this on FB?
i put a long status message up about oskar's saturday night adventure. I should have just posted it here--- so i am going to do that now.
Sapna Shenoy
Sapna Shenoy
is a bad dog owner...i a plastic bag full of treats for my students on my table. as i was leaving my house, i thought--can oskare reach those? I tied them up tight and left, when i should have put them behind a door---came home to a shredded plastic bag and food strewn everywhere----just so thankful that he went for... the crackers (ate 3 packages--18 pb cracker sandwiches) instead of the chocoloate.
2.18.2010
giving up oskar
before I begin---let me explain that I love oskar and he is the most important thing in my life. I take him with me everywhere I can; he is a great comfort to me. I miss him when I am not with him....and I really cannot imagine enjoying life as much without him.
That being said--last night, i seriously considered getting rid of him.
I would be lost without oskar, but I am beginning to doubt that I am good for him. I have not walked him in the morning in about a month. Even when I used to walk him, it was always quick b/c i always oversleep. Now we are being threatened about being late to work--so I do not even risk the walk. It has been so cold at night recently, that I look for excuses out of this walk to. I normally do it (unless it is raining. Why can't i just put on a raincoat and deal??), but I shorten the walk or talk oin the phone the whole time (I have always used the wok as phone time--which is not really fair to oskar---i would bond with him better if i focused on him) (i know i sound like a crazy dog lady, but work with me)
When I am at home, I am just not giving oskar the attention he needs and deserves. This has been driven home to me recently as he spends all of his time following me and trying to nuzzle my hands into petting him when i am typing on the computer of surfing the internet. Do i love facebook more than i love my dog? He needs more attention; i am not sure if i can give it to him....or that i want to.
What i mean is--if i truly looking out for oskar's well-being--I could wake up earlier, bundle up, and go on 2 full walks a day like i used to and still do during the summer. if i was truly interested in keeping him happy--i could take him to the dog park---i used to do this before bapamma died. The park i like was right next to her nursing home and we would go there for an hour right before we visited her. Now, i think it is too far to drive "for no reason"--isn't oskar enough of a reason? Plus, he only likes the dog park in the winter and it is just too cold for me to stand around outside. But again---this is just an excuse. I will gladly go in the summer, but he poops out in about 5 minutes.....
And he chews and chews...he steals my clothes and eats my books and scatters my food.....it is very sporadic and i know he only does it because he is bored. I do not mind the stuff being destroyed----really. I would never give oskar away b/c he is a chewer. I just want him to be happy and his chewing is an indication that he is not......
oskar is the best dog ever--really. I would never give him away. It would kill me. At this late stage in life, he is as close to a domestic partner as i will have. He is my constant companion and fills the space in me that hates myself. But are these the right reasons to keep an animal...and unhappy animal at that?
I love oskar. He is my sweetienose. But i am a deadbeat owner. He deserves better. Let us see if i can pony up.
That being said--last night, i seriously considered getting rid of him.
I would be lost without oskar, but I am beginning to doubt that I am good for him. I have not walked him in the morning in about a month. Even when I used to walk him, it was always quick b/c i always oversleep. Now we are being threatened about being late to work--so I do not even risk the walk. It has been so cold at night recently, that I look for excuses out of this walk to. I normally do it (unless it is raining. Why can't i just put on a raincoat and deal??), but I shorten the walk or talk oin the phone the whole time (I have always used the wok as phone time--which is not really fair to oskar---i would bond with him better if i focused on him) (i know i sound like a crazy dog lady, but work with me)
When I am at home, I am just not giving oskar the attention he needs and deserves. This has been driven home to me recently as he spends all of his time following me and trying to nuzzle my hands into petting him when i am typing on the computer of surfing the internet. Do i love facebook more than i love my dog? He needs more attention; i am not sure if i can give it to him....or that i want to.
What i mean is--if i truly looking out for oskar's well-being--I could wake up earlier, bundle up, and go on 2 full walks a day like i used to and still do during the summer. if i was truly interested in keeping him happy--i could take him to the dog park---i used to do this before bapamma died. The park i like was right next to her nursing home and we would go there for an hour right before we visited her. Now, i think it is too far to drive "for no reason"--isn't oskar enough of a reason? Plus, he only likes the dog park in the winter and it is just too cold for me to stand around outside. But again---this is just an excuse. I will gladly go in the summer, but he poops out in about 5 minutes.....
And he chews and chews...he steals my clothes and eats my books and scatters my food.....it is very sporadic and i know he only does it because he is bored. I do not mind the stuff being destroyed----really. I would never give oskar away b/c he is a chewer. I just want him to be happy and his chewing is an indication that he is not......
oskar is the best dog ever--really. I would never give him away. It would kill me. At this late stage in life, he is as close to a domestic partner as i will have. He is my constant companion and fills the space in me that hates myself. But are these the right reasons to keep an animal...and unhappy animal at that?
I love oskar. He is my sweetienose. But i am a deadbeat owner. He deserves better. Let us see if i can pony up.
2.12.2010
snow more snow
There is a slight chance we will get more snow on Saturday and Monday. I am not so hateful of snow---but it really is killing my teaching. It is hard to keep everything straight--especially since i teach three different grade-levels on a block schedule. Also, it is really hard for me to get motivated when i am cold....so the days we have had off, i have basically just lounged around my house napping and reading. It was nice, but if we lose spring break over this, I will be very sad. I can actually do things over spring break.
2.07.2010
SUNday
the sun is finally out and i feel like a new person. it is amazing what a little sunshine will do for the mood.
needless to say--my huge to do list from the last post was only half accomplished. however, i have decided that baking cookies and cakes while snowed in is not in my best diabetic interest. I do need to lesson plan and sweep off my car if i am to get to work tomorrow (if there is work tomorrow) i would also like to tackle my mound of papers. however, i am out of movies to watch wile doing so. maybe i will listen to podcasts and david sedaris tapes....
anywho--i am very glad the sun has come out. maybe i have seasonal affective disorder. or maybe i am just solar powered. though i like napping in the sunshine best. but it is an energetic nap, not a sluggish one--if that makes sense.
ok--i see a ray of sunshine that i can fit into.
needless to say--my huge to do list from the last post was only half accomplished. however, i have decided that baking cookies and cakes while snowed in is not in my best diabetic interest. I do need to lesson plan and sweep off my car if i am to get to work tomorrow (if there is work tomorrow) i would also like to tackle my mound of papers. however, i am out of movies to watch wile doing so. maybe i will listen to podcasts and david sedaris tapes....
anywho--i am very glad the sun has come out. maybe i have seasonal affective disorder. or maybe i am just solar powered. though i like napping in the sunshine best. but it is an energetic nap, not a sluggish one--if that makes sense.
ok--i see a ray of sunshine that i can fit into.
2.06.2010
jack is a dull boy
it is not that i am doing work. it is that i am doing nothing. if we have another snow day on monday, they might have to commit me. i am getting severe cabin fever. i wish i had a roommate or someone trapped here with me or a car that could handle driving in this.....
i have finished a good book, slept too much and eaten too much. i have also spent waaay too much time on FB and weather.com---today, i am going to turn it around. Here is the plan:
1) shower---i know that i am going to have to shower again, but it is the only thing that really wakes me up
2) listen to my backlog of This American Life Podcasts while cleaning the bathrooms and
vacuuming.
3) wok the dog. do not lose keys. melissa is not in town and does not have my spare key anyway.
4) bake cookies while listening to more podcasts---or david sedaris on tape! forgot i had this--blow out sale at B&N--- now where is my tape deck???
5) watch both netflix movies while sorting through the mountain of papers in my study. get toasted on hot chocolate mixed with butterscotch schnapps (knew i kept that vile bottle for something)
6) will probably not get toasted as it will be hard to choke down a full drink. start painting or start a new book or start learning how to make rag rug.
Sunday:
make lessons
shovel sidewalk
continue crafting
ok--my day will be great! maybe this is b/c it is not actually a snow day but just a regular weekend day with snow. who would have thought that I would miss being at work? This is the result of a shoddy social life. I only really see people if i am at ellwood's or at work.
i have finished a good book, slept too much and eaten too much. i have also spent waaay too much time on FB and weather.com---today, i am going to turn it around. Here is the plan:
1) shower---i know that i am going to have to shower again, but it is the only thing that really wakes me up
2) listen to my backlog of This American Life Podcasts while cleaning the bathrooms and
vacuuming.
3) wok the dog. do not lose keys. melissa is not in town and does not have my spare key anyway.
4) bake cookies while listening to more podcasts---or david sedaris on tape! forgot i had this--blow out sale at B&N--- now where is my tape deck???
5) watch both netflix movies while sorting through the mountain of papers in my study. get toasted on hot chocolate mixed with butterscotch schnapps (knew i kept that vile bottle for something)
6) will probably not get toasted as it will be hard to choke down a full drink. start painting or start a new book or start learning how to make rag rug.
Sunday:
make lessons
shovel sidewalk
continue crafting
ok--my day will be great! maybe this is b/c it is not actually a snow day but just a regular weekend day with snow. who would have thought that I would miss being at work? This is the result of a shoddy social life. I only really see people if i am at ellwood's or at work.
2.03.2010
plastic deficiency
i am almost convinced that my dad is right and oskar has pica. But chances are he is just bored. After our TERRIBLE woks on friday (attacked by another dog) and saturday (lost my keys in a foot of snow while the blizzard was still raging) (didn't find them until the next day--melissa and jeff had to rescue us) i decided to take a hiatus from wokking. Sunday, i barely moved (floundering in the snow for hours looking for keys is hard labor) Monday, the sidewalks were icy and after a 5 min trek that proved osk is still practicing for the iditarod, we about-faced and came home.Broke my tailbone once--and once is enough. Well, he must have been bored senseless, b/c he took a plastic bag full of vegan sloppy joe mix off the counter when i went out for coffee with alana. He then put a few holes in it and shook it all out onto the rug.
Tuesday, i was just lazy. Wednesday, we went for the full wok and somehow this did not cure his boredom. Went out for coffee again with alana (hrm...maybe this is the common link--oskar is trying to warn me not to hang out with alana) and oskar grabbed the sack of peanuts that has been on the counter for over a month, shredded the bag, and sprinkled peanuts all over the rug.
He does not eat the food contents of the bag--and for this go-round, he has not been eating the plastic bags (oskar likes to ingest bags just to keep the emergency vet in business). He has just been ruining my food and making a mess.
I love this dog, but sometimes i wonder why.
Tuesday, i was just lazy. Wednesday, we went for the full wok and somehow this did not cure his boredom. Went out for coffee again with alana (hrm...maybe this is the common link--oskar is trying to warn me not to hang out with alana) and oskar grabbed the sack of peanuts that has been on the counter for over a month, shredded the bag, and sprinkled peanuts all over the rug.
He does not eat the food contents of the bag--and for this go-round, he has not been eating the plastic bags (oskar likes to ingest bags just to keep the emergency vet in business). He has just been ruining my food and making a mess.
I love this dog, but sometimes i wonder why.
1.30.2010
i like the way the light looks through my windows when the world is snowy.
I am still a snow day atheist. This is not a ton of snow---maybe just enough to get us out on Monday--and i NEEDED to go to work on Monday-- it is a teacher work day and this teacher needs to work in her classroom. oh well. We will be in school on Tuesday with the kids and i will have no plans, nor will my report cards be done. I am looking a snow day in the mouth, i know. This is what they mean is saying "be careful what you ask for."
I logged onto this blog b/c i had a lot to say, but i was trying to multi-task (was on the phone with verizon yet again) and i totally lost my train of thought. so maybe i will write something worth reading later.
now it is noon an i think i am going to vacuum. yes. it seems like a good plan.
I am still a snow day atheist. This is not a ton of snow---maybe just enough to get us out on Monday--and i NEEDED to go to work on Monday-- it is a teacher work day and this teacher needs to work in her classroom. oh well. We will be in school on Tuesday with the kids and i will have no plans, nor will my report cards be done. I am looking a snow day in the mouth, i know. This is what they mean is saying "be careful what you ask for."
I logged onto this blog b/c i had a lot to say, but i was trying to multi-task (was on the phone with verizon yet again) and i totally lost my train of thought. so maybe i will write something worth reading later.
now it is noon an i think i am going to vacuum. yes. it seems like a good plan.
1.25.2010
wintry mix
i am still praying for a snow storm. i got plenty of rest this weekend and i am no longer feeling so overwhelmed at work....but it is just nice to get an unexpected day off. I will be mad if we get feb 10th off, though. It was my court date. I paid my fine. If we got the day off, i totally would have gone to court. something tells me my karma is such that if we get a snow day at all this year, that will be the day.
I am sick of dating. I had 3 dates planned this weekend and none of them turned out normal at all. And they weren't abnormal in a good way either. Just wack. I am soooo very sick of hearing "i am just not in a good place in my life" i mean--these people approach me! do not approach me, flirt with me, ask me out if you are just going to wig. If you realized you didn't like me, i would be okay with that, but be honest. if you are going to tell me you love me and think i am great and blah blah blah......erg! i remember when i had baggage. it was not easy and wigging out on people that you thought you wanted to date is all a part of baggage.... but we are in our 30s now---time to recover. Easy for me to say, right?
Anyway, yet again--i give up. i will wait for a miracle. but i am not going to help myself. meaning, i am not going to go out on dates. if someone wants to fall in love with me, that is fine--but this is idiotic and i refuse. they can convince me to date them after they are in love with me.
And maybe it is hard to find anyone to date in my house, but i am tired of going out. So this person is going to have to come find me, fall in love with me and then ask me out.
I am sick of dating. I had 3 dates planned this weekend and none of them turned out normal at all. And they weren't abnormal in a good way either. Just wack. I am soooo very sick of hearing "i am just not in a good place in my life" i mean--these people approach me! do not approach me, flirt with me, ask me out if you are just going to wig. If you realized you didn't like me, i would be okay with that, but be honest. if you are going to tell me you love me and think i am great and blah blah blah......erg! i remember when i had baggage. it was not easy and wigging out on people that you thought you wanted to date is all a part of baggage.... but we are in our 30s now---time to recover. Easy for me to say, right?
Anyway, yet again--i give up. i will wait for a miracle. but i am not going to help myself. meaning, i am not going to go out on dates. if someone wants to fall in love with me, that is fine--but this is idiotic and i refuse. they can convince me to date them after they are in love with me.
And maybe it is hard to find anyone to date in my house, but i am tired of going out. So this person is going to have to come find me, fall in love with me and then ask me out.
1.20.2010
catch up
i need to catch up at work. and by catch up, i mean get ahead. i need to figure out my game plan from now until spring break. not specific lessons, just a game plan. right now, i just feel like i am exposing kids to so much material and it is not really sinking in. next year will be better right? i might apply for a job in juvie. but i can't decide. it will pay more, but i will not get any breaks---no spring, no winter, no summer. is it worth it? i will see.....
any thoughts?
any thoughts?
1.19.2010
MUFA
i have added to my crazy resolutions---but i have decided to focus on one at a time. When i reach this goal, i am going to go on to the other goals---which i will keep on the back burner until goal #1 gets to be second nature.
so goal number 1: get in shape
timeline: make healthy choices second nature by my 32nd birthday.
objectives: 1) exercise daily
2) plan all meals the day before (balancing carbs)
3) incorporate MUFAs into each meal
4) protein at every meal.
ok---if i run today, my goals will have been met for today.
so goal number 1: get in shape
timeline: make healthy choices second nature by my 32nd birthday.
objectives: 1) exercise daily
2) plan all meals the day before (balancing carbs)
3) incorporate MUFAs into each meal
4) protein at every meal.
ok---if i run today, my goals will have been met for today.
1.14.2010
to do to day
yesterday i got myself worked into a funk b/c some kids apparently went into my desk and stole a whole bag of jolly ranchers...i seriously could not let it go enough to concentrate on anything---so i lost myself in my book (I am reading _The Lovely Bones_ really, really great) and got nothing done. To ensure today is not a repeat, here is my after school to do list:
1) go through and organize all the papers stacked up on my bookshelf in my classroom
2)attend wrestling match--i have several past students on the team.
3)drive home
4) wok dog
5)put away clean clothes and clean dishes
6) go by ATM to deposit check and withdraw cash
7)ellwood's to catch up on grading
8) Watch _My Life as a Dog_
9) pack for this weekend.
10) respond to a zillion e-mails.
i like my to do lists to end up being 10 things. yay! none of this is too daunting....but none of it is as great and cuddling next to oskity and reading a good book either.
1) go through and organize all the papers stacked up on my bookshelf in my classroom
2)attend wrestling match--i have several past students on the team.
3)drive home
4) wok dog
5)put away clean clothes and clean dishes
6) go by ATM to deposit check and withdraw cash
7)ellwood's to catch up on grading
8) Watch _My Life as a Dog_
9) pack for this weekend.
10) respond to a zillion e-mails.
i like my to do lists to end up being 10 things. yay! none of this is too daunting....but none of it is as great and cuddling next to oskity and reading a good book either.
1.12.2010
10 minute silver
yesterday was actually not awful. my 8th graders were bearable. it seems like we have gotten kind of middle of the road with all 3 grade-levels. the 6th graders are getting worse, the 7th graders are staying the same, and the 8th graders and getting better. i am spending a lot of time (or rather no time at all) not going crazy. i feel like my teaching is suffering a bit---i mean, i am no longer giving 100% all of the time, but it is in an attempt to not burn out again and i am okay with that. My lessons are not stellar, but they are good and solid. my main problem for teaching that is saving my sanity is that i am not taking any work home with me. This is great b/c i have a life outside of school. This is terrible b/c i am no longer putting in crazy hours to make sure everything goes smoothly---so it doesn't.
but they do not pay me enough to do what i was doing. which was going crazy. the amount of stress that led to my nervous breakdown would be acceptable with a job that paid $150K not one-fifth of that. not that i teach for the money, but i also do not teach to hate my life.
so today----i might take stuff home. i have a bit of grading and paper sorting to do and i would like to either do this at a coffee shop or in front of the TV. however, this will hurt my already determined schedule for today. it was: rearrange classroom desks then go home wok dog, work out, fix lunch and iron outfit for tomorrow, deal with under porch cats (this time, i am using coffee) pay bills, deposit check, eat dinner watch _my life as a dog_ can i get rid of movie to do grading at coffee shop? hrm....chances are i will get rid of work out. i am sleeeeepy. i might insert nap. ugh! how is it only tuesday.
but they do not pay me enough to do what i was doing. which was going crazy. the amount of stress that led to my nervous breakdown would be acceptable with a job that paid $150K not one-fifth of that. not that i teach for the money, but i also do not teach to hate my life.
so today----i might take stuff home. i have a bit of grading and paper sorting to do and i would like to either do this at a coffee shop or in front of the TV. however, this will hurt my already determined schedule for today. it was: rearrange classroom desks then go home wok dog, work out, fix lunch and iron outfit for tomorrow, deal with under porch cats (this time, i am using coffee) pay bills, deposit check, eat dinner watch _my life as a dog_ can i get rid of movie to do grading at coffee shop? hrm....chances are i will get rid of work out. i am sleeeeepy. i might insert nap. ugh! how is it only tuesday.
1.11.2010
10 minute maroon
today is a maroon day. my AWFUL days. so i am going to blog for 10 minutes to get my brain straight and ready.
I brewed some coffee and it is already making me in a better mood. Granted, i put 16 carbs worth of sugar/agave nectar in it to make it palatable. but i ate less breakfast. hopefully it will all add to less than 45 carbs. being diabetic is hard. let's make cookies for the boys.
i have decided to embrace the power of positive thinking. jenny says it does not make cancer suck any less (she watched a cancer survivor talk, she does not have cancer, thank god.) but maybe it can make my 8th grade class suck less. I mean, i really do love these kids---all of them....seriously. it took me until last week to love the last one...but now, all 10 are dear to me. but together, they play off each other and pluck my last nerve. so today, i am going to think thoughts of love and then also divide and conquer.
every sunday night after 6 pm and weekdays from 6am to 8 am-- i HATE my job---and i always want to look for new jobs and even new fields all together. however, the rest of the time, i love my job. i am just not a morning person when work comes in the morning. i am all about mornings on the weekends and over vacations.
ok, i am capping my blogging at 6 mins. so much to do!
I brewed some coffee and it is already making me in a better mood. Granted, i put 16 carbs worth of sugar/agave nectar in it to make it palatable. but i ate less breakfast. hopefully it will all add to less than 45 carbs. being diabetic is hard. let's make cookies for the boys.
i have decided to embrace the power of positive thinking. jenny says it does not make cancer suck any less (she watched a cancer survivor talk, she does not have cancer, thank god.) but maybe it can make my 8th grade class suck less. I mean, i really do love these kids---all of them....seriously. it took me until last week to love the last one...but now, all 10 are dear to me. but together, they play off each other and pluck my last nerve. so today, i am going to think thoughts of love and then also divide and conquer.
every sunday night after 6 pm and weekdays from 6am to 8 am-- i HATE my job---and i always want to look for new jobs and even new fields all together. however, the rest of the time, i love my job. i am just not a morning person when work comes in the morning. i am all about mornings on the weekends and over vacations.
ok, i am capping my blogging at 6 mins. so much to do!
1.10.2010
dirt and decisions
I have spent this weekend battling the dust and dog hair in my house. i finally broke down and cleaned my vacuum's filters. yuck! i hate doing this---but now my vacuum is actually sucking up the d&d, so goodie. My house finally feels clean-ish for the first time in a long time.
i am pretty sure i am not going to start back on running until it is consistently warm. i just cannot get motivated when it hurts to go outside. so i am going to do my fake stair machine EVERY DAY! yes--- you heard right. It is not as much of a workout as running, so i am going to do it twice as much as i was running. and let us not kid ourselves-- i was only running for a month...i was not a runner. simon was right. stupid simon.
i am going to combat my speeding ticket by not going out 10 fridays in a row (9 left to go). i figure that is penance enough and will save me the $150 i blew by going 43 in a 25. sheesh! who knew broad street was a 25 mph zone?
i am rolling along my to do list today---even with some last minute adds. so let me get up and keep the momentum going. though methinks lunch will be my downfall.
i am pretty sure i am not going to start back on running until it is consistently warm. i just cannot get motivated when it hurts to go outside. so i am going to do my fake stair machine EVERY DAY! yes--- you heard right. It is not as much of a workout as running, so i am going to do it twice as much as i was running. and let us not kid ourselves-- i was only running for a month...i was not a runner. simon was right. stupid simon.
i am going to combat my speeding ticket by not going out 10 fridays in a row (9 left to go). i figure that is penance enough and will save me the $150 i blew by going 43 in a 25. sheesh! who knew broad street was a 25 mph zone?
i am rolling along my to do list today---even with some last minute adds. so let me get up and keep the momentum going. though methinks lunch will be my downfall.
1.08.2010
no snow, part II
We only got a dusting of snow this morning, and even though the roads were slick, we did not even get a delay. There were a couple fo bus accidents though, so I am sure that next time, we will not be so unlucky. Also, several students are reporting that their buses slid all over the road. Now, kids exaggerate--but parents will complain. I know there was not enough snow to cause a major problem, but the rule is "safety first" and it was not followed today.
so, i did not get as much sleep as humanly possible as i wanted to if we had a snow day. and also, my house did not get scrubbed. however, i did get a lot of sleep. i took a 2 hour nap and then canceled movie night to just get more sleep. i had a massive headache that i couldn't shake and just was so fatigued.
i wasn;t 100% sure if i could wear jeans to school or not, so i didn't---but my only non-wrinkly, clean slacks are apparently way too tight. so now my goal is to fit into these pants well by the end of february. i mean, these pants are hurting me. They were loose on me when i first bought them.
I again discovered today thar mochas improve my mood---i love my students when i haveenough chocolate and coffee in me. so i think that every maroon day, until i can stand my 8th grade class, i will go to MCD and get a mocha--they are so good there. Buzzy's sometimes burns the espresso and the milk. MCD has a machine that makes them the same each time. I would prefer to support local business, but buzzy's has not been worth my money the last 3 times i went there.
so today---after work, since i had to come to work:
1) change out of these tight pants
2) walk dog on really long walk--for real
3)clean bathrooms
4) go to bed
5) wake up at 8 am, meet melissa at 9:30 am at can can.
next week is the b-more aquarium. over and out.
so, i did not get as much sleep as humanly possible as i wanted to if we had a snow day. and also, my house did not get scrubbed. however, i did get a lot of sleep. i took a 2 hour nap and then canceled movie night to just get more sleep. i had a massive headache that i couldn't shake and just was so fatigued.
i wasn;t 100% sure if i could wear jeans to school or not, so i didn't---but my only non-wrinkly, clean slacks are apparently way too tight. so now my goal is to fit into these pants well by the end of february. i mean, these pants are hurting me. They were loose on me when i first bought them.
I again discovered today thar mochas improve my mood---i love my students when i haveenough chocolate and coffee in me. so i think that every maroon day, until i can stand my 8th grade class, i will go to MCD and get a mocha--they are so good there. Buzzy's sometimes burns the espresso and the milk. MCD has a machine that makes them the same each time. I would prefer to support local business, but buzzy's has not been worth my money the last 3 times i went there.
so today---after work, since i had to come to work:
1) change out of these tight pants
2) walk dog on really long walk--for real
3)clean bathrooms
4) go to bed
5) wake up at 8 am, meet melissa at 9:30 am at can can.
next week is the b-more aquarium. over and out.
1.07.2010
no snow
i am trying not to get excited over a snow day---but it is just not happening. i _never_ believe it is going to snow until the sky is really heavy with clouds....which it is not now....but i have been so hateful this week and a snow day might cure me.
if we do not get a snow day, i am going to be in a bad mood tomorrow, but i will treat myself to breakfast from mcdonald's. also--it is a silver day and that is my easy day so i will not be too, too upset. and after school, i will stay in bed reading to treat myself.
However, if we do get a snow day, i will sleep as late as possible, really, truly sanitize my house to rid it of dust and dog hair and then read and drink tea until it is time for bed.
Saturday, (either way) i am going to meet melissa at can can and catch up and then go to target and catch up there. then i have a baby shower. i will then clean (if we did not get the snow day) and go to the chessboxing tourney at 8 pm. if we do get the snow day, i will use my cleaning time to work on my hobby room.
Sunday, i will go to ellwood's to read/write/think. ah! i might also do cleaning/organizing type stuff and light lesson planning. I am also going to veg wout with a DVD no matter what. it has been a long time since i just veged out.
ok, time to go home and decide what to do today.
if we do not get a snow day, i am going to be in a bad mood tomorrow, but i will treat myself to breakfast from mcdonald's. also--it is a silver day and that is my easy day so i will not be too, too upset. and after school, i will stay in bed reading to treat myself.
However, if we do get a snow day, i will sleep as late as possible, really, truly sanitize my house to rid it of dust and dog hair and then read and drink tea until it is time for bed.
Saturday, (either way) i am going to meet melissa at can can and catch up and then go to target and catch up there. then i have a baby shower. i will then clean (if we did not get the snow day) and go to the chessboxing tourney at 8 pm. if we do get the snow day, i will use my cleaning time to work on my hobby room.
Sunday, i will go to ellwood's to read/write/think. ah! i might also do cleaning/organizing type stuff and light lesson planning. I am also going to veg wout with a DVD no matter what. it has been a long time since i just veged out.
ok, time to go home and decide what to do today.
1.06.2010
perfect
i had such a blissful feeling this morning that made me love my mutt even more.
i was super groggy this morning. I mean to go to bed at 8 pm (no, really--i just need a massive sleep-a-thon to get my energy levels back up) but instead i had to spend the better part of the evening being frustrated by bankaccountinternetverizon. so i went to bed at like 10:45 and when the alarm when off at 6:15, i was just not ready to commit to being awake.
and this is fine, b/c i am not in trouble unless i get up after 6:45. Then morning things need to be cut. Yesterday, the dog wok got cut---so i took a shower last night so that this morning, i would definitely wok the dog.
but i kept hitting snooze. when i snoozed it at 6:43, i realized that i might have to cut the dog wok. i lifted off my pillow and wrenched my body left to reach the alarm ( i put it on the bookshelf as a method to inspire me to get up to turn it off--but really all i do is stretch so much it hurts my back)
When i tried to flop back down into my nest of pillows, Oskar was already there. He quietly had leapt into the warm spot my head used to be in. I fell on top of him and we cuddled for the nezt 19 minutes. oops! but it was the most comfortable i have EVER been. it was warm and comforting-smelling (yes, i am comforted by a good dog smell) I just felt so loved and needed. it was the best feeling.
so i skipped breakfast and brushing my hair and wokked the dog. See? I am not such a bad person after all. I realize that when running late, the dog wok should not _always_ be the first thing to go.
but i also realize that i need to get up on time.
i was super groggy this morning. I mean to go to bed at 8 pm (no, really--i just need a massive sleep-a-thon to get my energy levels back up) but instead i had to spend the better part of the evening being frustrated by bankaccountinternetverizon. so i went to bed at like 10:45 and when the alarm when off at 6:15, i was just not ready to commit to being awake.
and this is fine, b/c i am not in trouble unless i get up after 6:45. Then morning things need to be cut. Yesterday, the dog wok got cut---so i took a shower last night so that this morning, i would definitely wok the dog.
but i kept hitting snooze. when i snoozed it at 6:43, i realized that i might have to cut the dog wok. i lifted off my pillow and wrenched my body left to reach the alarm ( i put it on the bookshelf as a method to inspire me to get up to turn it off--but really all i do is stretch so much it hurts my back)
When i tried to flop back down into my nest of pillows, Oskar was already there. He quietly had leapt into the warm spot my head used to be in. I fell on top of him and we cuddled for the nezt 19 minutes. oops! but it was the most comfortable i have EVER been. it was warm and comforting-smelling (yes, i am comforted by a good dog smell) I just felt so loved and needed. it was the best feeling.
so i skipped breakfast and brushing my hair and wokked the dog. See? I am not such a bad person after all. I realize that when running late, the dog wok should not _always_ be the first thing to go.
but i also realize that i need to get up on time.
1.04.2010
time for tv?
who has it?
I watched Volver last night (totally weird and i am not sure if i loved it or hated it) and there was this line: "No cable from now on. We are a poor family. We will live like a poor family" (ok--this is not a driect quote b/c the movie was in spanish and i did not memorize the subtitles).
It got me thinking. I have never in my life paid for cable. I had cable growing up, but I opted not to get it in college b/c it was too expensive. We never even had it at the dogpit--where we would have split it 8 ways....I watched other people's cable and definitely watched a ton of TV over breaks--but I never really missed it.
Now, I realize that 14 years without cable/TV (i have never lived anywhere that gets the network stations either), I am a bit out of touch with reality. I kinda suck at pop culture and current events. Though there are tons of other media readily available, TV is the easiest way to absorb information.
And now, I could totally afford cable. But i do not want it. I feel like i would either spend all my time watching useless crap and that would be a waste of time OR I would never watch anything and that would be a waste of money.
I only regret that cable internet is kinda cheap if you pay for cable already. I do not know this for fact, but it seems like those bundle pacakges are a better "deal"--like buying the large popcorn at the movies is a better deal---you do not need all that popcorn, but it is only 50 cents more.
but as it is, i barely have time to watch TV on netflix DVDs--who has time to regularly watch shows? Who are these people? Where does my time go? I do not do anything but work and walk my dog---and that takes up 8 hours a day at most. Where do the other 16 go?
Maybe i should get cable so i can have an excuse for wasting so much time.
I watched Volver last night (totally weird and i am not sure if i loved it or hated it) and there was this line: "No cable from now on. We are a poor family. We will live like a poor family" (ok--this is not a driect quote b/c the movie was in spanish and i did not memorize the subtitles).
It got me thinking. I have never in my life paid for cable. I had cable growing up, but I opted not to get it in college b/c it was too expensive. We never even had it at the dogpit--where we would have split it 8 ways....I watched other people's cable and definitely watched a ton of TV over breaks--but I never really missed it.
Now, I realize that 14 years without cable/TV (i have never lived anywhere that gets the network stations either), I am a bit out of touch with reality. I kinda suck at pop culture and current events. Though there are tons of other media readily available, TV is the easiest way to absorb information.
And now, I could totally afford cable. But i do not want it. I feel like i would either spend all my time watching useless crap and that would be a waste of time OR I would never watch anything and that would be a waste of money.
I only regret that cable internet is kinda cheap if you pay for cable already. I do not know this for fact, but it seems like those bundle pacakges are a better "deal"--like buying the large popcorn at the movies is a better deal---you do not need all that popcorn, but it is only 50 cents more.
but as it is, i barely have time to watch TV on netflix DVDs--who has time to regularly watch shows? Who are these people? Where does my time go? I do not do anything but work and walk my dog---and that takes up 8 hours a day at most. Where do the other 16 go?
Maybe i should get cable so i can have an excuse for wasting so much time.
1.03.2010
hobby room
i just spent the past hour making my study into a hobby room of sorts. not that i really have hobbies-- i just have all the raw materials to have a hobby (yarn, paint, water color paper, manual camera, publishing guides, etc.) i figured that if i had a cool room to be creative in, i might actually be creative.
i should have been spending the day trying to rid my house of dog hair and dust. it has reached critical mass in here---i am breathing in too many particles. but--like before---i can only really clean when agitated...it is what soothes me. and i do not currently need soothing. but i would rather have a dirty house and peace of mind than motivation to clean. so i guess the dog hair wins for today. i just can't make myself do it. i also can be motivated to clean at the start of break---but this break started with a snow storm that made me miserable, so i did not clean---i stayed under the covers where it was warm. today is the last day of break. i have better things to do than clean.
like lesson plans. boy howdy. i sure need to figure out what is going to be going on in my classroom tomorrow. i should go get on that---though i would rather be deciding on an all-consuming hobby.
i should have been spending the day trying to rid my house of dog hair and dust. it has reached critical mass in here---i am breathing in too many particles. but--like before---i can only really clean when agitated...it is what soothes me. and i do not currently need soothing. but i would rather have a dirty house and peace of mind than motivation to clean. so i guess the dog hair wins for today. i just can't make myself do it. i also can be motivated to clean at the start of break---but this break started with a snow storm that made me miserable, so i did not clean---i stayed under the covers where it was warm. today is the last day of break. i have better things to do than clean.
like lesson plans. boy howdy. i sure need to figure out what is going to be going on in my classroom tomorrow. i should go get on that---though i would rather be deciding on an all-consuming hobby.
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UPDATE: oskar is going okay---still it takes a few days to see if he has an obstruction. nothing weird came out of him today, and that is disturbing b/c at least then i would know it was not stuck inside him. also, he only ate 12 pb crackers---the last missing packet was found under my bed, where i guess he was hiding a snack for later.