regression

I cannot seem to run anymore....I went for a great run on saturday---personal best of 18 mins without stopping. This might not sound like a lot to you, but I could not even run one minute without stopping a couple fo months ago. But I tried to run yesterday and i made it a block--i was feeling blah and my knee kinda ached and i just quit....thinking that i would have more energy today after getting some rest. Well, I did have more energy today, but at minute 8 I was gasping for air so i walked for 10 seconds---and at minute 10 i was gasping again, so i walked for 30 seconds---then at minute 12, i just pooped out---i just lost the mood entirely.....

how do i trick my mood into letting me keep going??? This "not being into it" was never an issue before once i got past 1 minute....I could run until my time goal. However, the past 2 runs---i obviously did not do that. granted, today i have a bit of a breathing problem....but at minute 12, i was not gasping, i was just quitting....i am going to see how i do tomorrow and then make an action plan if things have not improve.

i have really, really, really been craving brownies and summer vacation recently.

We had a staff meeting today and our principal told us to stop asking about next year and to focus on this year---it is really hard. I mean, we found out our department is going to have a whole new leadership team, a whole new curriculum, a new focus and new standards.....it is hard to create winning SOL review lessons that I will never use again. 5 weeks and 2 days of school left--- it is doable.

i am thinking of pampering myself this saturday---though i do not really have the money nor do i really deserve it-- i mean, i have not been busting my tail on work, house, or health like i should have been doing. but i work this saturday morning and have a haircut appt at 3:30---i was thinking of going to the mall for a cheap pedicure and lunch in between. though what i should be doing is taking care of this wreck of a house and running and making SOL study guides and preparing healthy meals for the week. and not spending money....let us see which shoulder wins.

ok, i need to take care of this brownie craving...it is killing me. while i am at it, i might pretend it is summer vacation.